Another Sample for Culture - To A&M it Goes

We had a sterile sample taken on Monday 11/11 to be overnighted to A&M for culture...I need to know what the bacteria is...

Darby has been doing well, the Piroxicam seems to be helping, but we still don't know if this tumor is Transitional Cell Carcinoma or cysts due to chronic infection...Its a waiting game...

After a brief e-mail to Dr. Allen's office I receive the report from the Pathologist at A&M...It's complex, but pretty detailed...Now, I'm sick to my stomach.  My anxiety level is so high I can't think straight.  I'm sick with worry...

I pace back and forth as I chat with different friends.

My dilema:
- Darby's report shows bacteria...it shows a chronic infection...My friend Erica talks about exhausted neutorphyls.  These are signs that her body has been fighting something...
- Darby is only on a anti inflamatory / pain reducer, she is not on an antibiotic
- We have to wait 48 to 72 hours for the culture to grow bacteria

I'm nervous, I feel like I have no control.  How can I let her have this infection for another 48 hours.  How?  Can Darby hold up?  I'm watching her like a hawk now...obsessively compulsively watching her.  She is urinating more often, what does that mean?  She doesn't look right...the questions, the concern...I need peace to settle my fears...I need to TRUST.  The insecurity is overwhelming...

The questions going through my head:

• How do I preoccupy my mind for the next two days?
• She is stretching out on the bed, that's a good sign...
• Do I take her to Dr. Allen's tomorrow for observation?...I'm sure they are sick of me by now.
• Do I start her on an antibiotic before we receive the culture?
• Is she OK?
• What if they can't grow the bacteria, am I ready?
• If I don't take her to Dr. Allen's, I'm going to ask my mom to come visit Darby at lunch...
• For all I know, she is probably fine, and I am worrying for  nothing..
• There is no way i can get back to sleep now (woke up at 1:30 a.m), waking up time is in 1.5 hours.

All I can say is that this is so difficult.  I don't want to give up on Darby.  I want to do as much as I can no matter what.  I'm thankful to have friends and family that will help me through this process.  I want to make sure that I am not looking at the situation through rose colored glasses.